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You will cease and desist further harassment of Mr. Claus or any of his enterprises. You are further notified of a pending suit for slandering Mr. Claus by suggesting that his legitimate business inquiries on sleeping children are some form of pedophilia. The last item is a charge of conspiracy by suggesting that he kidnap people. Respectfully,Elf and Elf Esquire-----Listen-up Fat Boy: Dec 23 Hey! Call off your lawyer dogs! This is supposed to be between you and me! Besides, I can get my own lawyers; they said they'd work pro-bono. (Something about a neglected Jewish childhood and its payback time?) Oh, come on Santa. You remember 1954? I didn't get the Schwin bike, but somebody in red was sure eating my mommy's cookies that night.Your pal,Bad Irving-----Dear Bad: Dec 24 Ho, ho, ho, of course you will get big boobs for Christmas!Ho, ho, ho,Santa Claus-----Dear Santa: Dec 26 Boy did you deliver! She's beautiful and buxom. Maybe even too buxom the teddy only goes down to her navel and. I’m coming to you tomorrow.”I replied,” Ok darling, my sweet mom, I will come to receive you.” Next morning I went to the bus station to receive mom. She was waiting for me as I was late. We smiled at each other and I took mom home. As soon as we entered the house mom hugged me and said,” I missed you for 2 months to get divorce from your dad.” I said,” Its ok mom, you missed me 2 month for divorce but have your son rest of the life.” I embrace mom tightly and kissed her lips. I said,” Mom, exam is going on and I have to go to college.” Mom said,” Ok, you take your bath and I am preparing something for you.” When I was going to college, mom asked,” When is your last exam?” I said,” Today is my last exam.” Mom wished me all the best and kissed my forehead. After exam I telephoned mom,” Mom, my exam is over. But my friends are compelling me to go to a movie. I am going with them and coming to you in the evening.” Mom said,” Ok, but come early.” I went to movie with friend but thinking.
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